I wondered if Mom ever felt this bad when
she was alive.
I told my uncle, “I want to stay in Mom’s old
room.”
Maybe it would still smell like her.
Whenever I missed Mom, I’d sleep with her
old blanket.
It made it feel like she was right next to me.
Mom’s room would have all her stuff in it, and
might even smell like her.
It would have the pens she used, the books
she loved, the clothes she wore…
It was as close as I was going to get to her.
I looked at my uncle, hopeful.
He looked down at me, and then led me in the
other direction.
We walked to the end of the hallway.
“This is where your mom used to live. It’s just
a junk room now.”
く
He opened the door, and I saw piles of dusty
junk.
I found a walker. “Was this Mom’s?” I asked
him, clearly excited.
My uncle seemed to think of something funny, because he laughed. “That was Tiffany’s
when she was little. She was so bad at
walking back then.”
I set the walker down and found a doll. “Is
this Mom’s doll? Can I sleep with it?”
“Tiffany was scared of the dark, so I found
the perfect one for her. It sings, and Tiffany
loves it.”
I was confused. “What about Mom’s stuff?”
My uncle stopped laughing. “Gone. She
doesn’t have anything here.”
No wonder I couldn’t find anything that was
hers.
This was her house, but there was nothing of
hers here?
I couldn’t find a single photo of her.
In the family photo in the living room, my
uncle and Tiffany were standing behind my
grandparents on either side.
They looked happy, like one big, happy family.
Except for Mom.
This house was so big, but there wasn’t room
for my mom.
Tiffany found me anyway.
My uncle was just about to leave when she came into my room, yelling like a maniac.
“How is it fair? How can Sarah live like this
and have a kid?”
“And I’m stuck like this! I can’t even walk!
What’s the point of me being alive?”
My grandma hugged her tight and soothed her. “It’s okay, Tiffany, Sarah’s time is
coming. She’s only alive to give you a kidney.
She owes you.”
Tiffany stared at me with dead eyes and
<
suddenly rolled her wheelchair closer,
grabbed me hard, and started reaching into
my pockets.
I tried to protect my pockets and run away, but Tiffany wouldn’t let go.
I fought as hard as I could, and she fell.
We both fell on the floor.
My grandma rushed to help Tiffany up.
