23
See, how strange.
Even though both sides had completely torn off the pretense, honestly admitting their extreme bias, how could they still be so self-
righteous, getting angry at me, trying to
control me?
Did they think that as long as they showed me a sliver of love, I would forget everything
and become their puppet again?
I was utterly bewildered, utterly impatient.
After a moment of silence, I finally said,
“There were so many things I wanted to tell
you.”
“I wanted to tell you that Willow was bullying
me, isolating me in class, not letting other
<
classmates talk to me.
“”
“I wanted to tell you that I didn’t want to switch test papers with Willow at all. I’m the smart one, Mom, why wouldn’t you love me
more?”
“I also wanted to tell you that when I was sick with a cold, I really wanted a bowl of the pear soup you always made for Willow.”
“But Mom-”
Even now, recalling the past heartaches, I still
felt aggrieved, sad.
The wounds in my heart hadn’t healed at all.
And they couldn’t heal.
The harm my family had inflicted would
always be hidden in my heart, festering,
turning into scars.
Untouchable, unthinkable.
I could only pray the scabs would grow
thicker so that a single touch wouldn’t shatter
my heart.
く
“Did you listen to me back then?”
“You didn’t.”
You just coldly brushed me off, told me to go
play by myself, watched me with indifference, said I got good grades just to make Willow
sad, kept reminding me that I owed Willow
everything.
My voice turned hoarse.
“The fact that I didn’t become gloomy, insecure, and depressed after all your neglect and mistreatment is already a miracle. I’m very, very busy. I want to walk my own path, live my own life, live for myself. I’m begging
you-”
“Just leave me alone.”
On the other end, Mom was silent for a long
time before saying in a choked voice, “Rose,
Mom just wants to care about you-”
I interrupted her, the corners of my lips
twitching slightly: “But Mom, I really don’t
<
“I don’t need it anymore.”
I had grown up.
When I was little, I prayed every night, asking
God if my parents loved me, begging God for happiness, when would happiness come.
I wanted my parents to love me, care about
- me.
But no one listened.
The little sapling that needed her parents‘ care and watering, even growing in dry land
without water, had grown into a strong,
resilient tree.
Unbreakable by wind, unyielding to lightning.
I no longer needed my parents‘ care.
I no longer needed my parents.
Yes.
I didn’t need them anymore.
