- 2.
Of course, Sarah stayed. She was more like a
Miller than I ever could be.
Now she’s dead, and the whole family
worships her.
<
My existence was too much for my own
family.
I didn’t look at Mom and Dad. I just went
upstairs to Tom’s room and knocked.
Since it was Sarah’s birthday, Tom would be
home.
He frowned when he saw me, his eyes filled
with the same disgust as Mom and Dad.
“What do you want? Did you come to gloat
about driving Sarah to her death? Did you
come back to rub it in?”
I ignored his insults and walked into his room,
opening the bottom drawer of his desk.
He noticed what I was doing and grabbed my
arm. “What are you doing?”
<
I didn’t answer, just shook him off and started
taking out the envelopes from the drawer, one
by one.
I laughed bitterly as I did.
He hadn’t opened a single one.
When I came back to this family, Mom and
Dad gave me a credit card and told me to buy
some new clothes and stuff.
But I knew Tom collected stamps, so I saved
the money and bought all sorts of rare
stamps.
I was four when I got lost, so my memories of
before that were hazy, but I always
remembered my brother.
<
When we were kids, Mom and Dad wouldn’t
let me eat candy to keep my teeth healthy.
But Tom would always find a way to sneak
me a Tootsie Roll or two. He’d wait until Mom
and Dad were asleep and slip it under my
door.
During the eighteen years I couldn’t go home,
the taste of those candy was all that kept me
going.
But when I finally came home, my brother
became Sarah’s brother.
Tom looked annoyed every time I gave him an
envelope.
“Can you stop? Why do you keep writing me
letters? Can’t you just say whatever you want
く
“Stop trying to be sentimental. You’ll just
make Sarah feel insecure. She already feels
bad enough that you’re home.”
“And what are you wearing? Mom and Dad
gave you money for new clothes. Why are you
still wearing those rags? Are you trying to get
attention?”
Every time, he’d throw the envelope in the
bottom drawer, like it was contaminating him.
Seeing what I was doing, Tom snatched the
envelopes from my hands. “What are you
doing with this garbage? Are you trying to
play games with your own brother?”
I stood up and looked him in the eye. “Taking
out the trash.”
Tom was speechless, staring at me.
He scoffed, throwing the stack of envelopes
in the trash can. “Garbage belongs in the
trash. Don’t worry about cleaning up after
me.”
I stared at the envelopes in the trash can, the
envelopes that had never been opened, and I
couldn’t help but feel a lump in my throat.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come back three
years ago.
Eighteen years was too long, and it had
erased even blood ties.
Sarah was their family. Mom, Dad, and Tom
had no room for me. I didn’t belong in their
<
Like these stamps, they’d been thrown away
without even being looked at because I was
the one who had given them.
I swallowed my emotions and looked at Tom.
“Just as long as you don’t have to look at
them again.”
Then I left.
Or me, I added silently.
Brother, you won’t have to look at me again,
either.
