Thank goodness for long sleeves; he couldn’t
<
see the goosebumps rising on my arms.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I didn’t say
anything.”
I turned my head to look out the window,
watching the city blur past.
This was awful.
I clenched my fists, my manicured nails
digging into my palms, leaving crescent-
shaped marks.
It stung.
I didn’t want to go.
I wanted to stay somewhere familiar.
I didn’t want to go to a foreign country and
hear people speaking languages I didn’t
understand.
I didn’t want to be stuck in a hotel room,
waiting for Alex to return.
My familiar city disappeared behind us.
It was a cloudy, gray day.
The window reflected my image.
<
Twenty–five–year–old Sarah, clinging on like
dead leaf.
Just one gust of wind, and I’d fall.
Alex broke the silence.
He wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m kidding. If you don’t want to go, you don’t
have to go.”
I blinked slowly.
He rested his chin on my shoulder, burying his
face in my hair.
“Your passport’s at home. I just wanted you
to drive me to the airport.”
I realized I hadn’t brought my passport. If Alex
had really intended to take me, he would have
grabbed my purse.
His voice was muffled. “I don’t like the way
you shoo me away. And I don’t like what you
said earlier.
Sarah, be a good girl. Behave.”
After kissing me for what felt like ten
<
minutes, Alex finally let me go.
He boarded his flight, and I headed home.
I touched my fingers to my swollen lips.
The woman in the mirror looked flushed.
I touched my stomach again.
It was still flat, the pregnancy too early to
show.
I didn’t know how to act around Alex, or what
to do about the baby.
Its parents weren’t married. Its father didn’t
want it. Its existence was a complete
accident.
By all accounts, it shouldn’t be here.
Its fate was to be scraped from a surgical
table, discarded like trash.
But…
It was my child.
I wanted it.
I gathered my courage and, after much
hesitation, texted Alex.
Meeu lu lell you sumtummy when you you
back.
He’d be gone for a week.
I had a week to prepare.
If Alex accepted the baby, we could get
married and raise it together.
If he didn’t, I would leave and never look back.
No matter what, I was keeping my baby.
It was Alex’s third day away, and my head
was still a mess.
I decided to go shopping.
I was in a dressing room, trying on fall
clothes. I used to love this high–end store
when I was younger. Back then, I didn’t have
much money, so I’d browse and dream,
eventually picking out one special piece.
After Alex found out I liked it, he started
sending clothes to my apartment, a constant
stream of designer labels. But I lost interest.
He realized I preferred choosing my own
th
clothes, so he stopped sending them and
instead started spending more time with me,
browsing and picking things out together.
Thinking of him, I zipped up the dress and
looked at myself in the full–length mirror.
Then I heard voices outside.
And, wouldn’t you know it, they were talking
about Alex.
…And me.
“Speaking of the Millers, Sarah’s been with
Alex for five years, right? Still no ring?”
“Marrying into money isn’t that easy. She
might have had a chance before her family
went bankrupt, but now she’s an orphan,
completely dependent on Alex. He’s just
playing around, not looking for a wife.”
My fingers stilled. My reflection blurred.
The voices continued.
“Not necessarily. If she got pregnant, wouldn’t
he have to marry her? It’s happened in the
Carter family before.”
Pregnant?
My gaze flickered to my purse in the corner.
I’d been carrying the same bag everywhere
lately.
And inside was the pregnancy test result.
“Ha! Trying to trap him with a baby? That’s
rich. It’s precisely because it’s happened
before that Alex hates illegitimate children.
He’s ruthless, you know. He’s got a
reputation. Sarah would be risking her life and
the baby’s if she tried that.”
There were gasps outside.
I expressionlessly took off the dress and put
my own clothes back on.
The gossip shifted quickly, moving on to
another family within a couple of sentences.
I opened the dressing room door and walked
out.
Their chatter abruptly stopped.
