10
Elias‘ Perspective
I was a little surprised when Cressida came to ask me for money.
I thought she would never show up in my world again.
This woman who had betrayed me, who had made me embarrass myself in front of so many people, I couldn’t forgive her.
But deep down, I loved her more than anything.
That was why it hurt so much.
I had to admit that my love for her was twisted. I loved her, but I couldn’t accept the fact that she had betrayed me.
I shifted that love onto Vivian, but I soon realized that Vivian was just a tool I used to make Cressida jealous.
I desperately hoped Cressida would come to beg me, but when she finally appeared, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
13:17 Fri, 27 Dec ti af •
My pride was standing in the way.
I knew she was too frail to pull a sled, yet I still allowed Vivian to bully her.
I wanted to see her beg, but when I saw her struggling, I felt a bit of compassion.
I stopped it, giving her a thousand, just so I could see her a few more times.
But I never expected that thousand would accelerate her death, even costing her life.
When my sister bullied her, I did nothing.
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Seeing her dressed as Santa being mistreated, I hesitated, but I was too much of a coward
to intervene.
I was, indeed, a bast**d.
But she, instead of turning to me for help, clung to Lucian. I was so jealous of Lucian.
I saw her nosebleed, and a part of me was worried, but another part of me was afraid,
thinking I was just imagining things.
But I never imagined she would get a terminal illness.
I couldn’t believe it. I saw every doctor I could find, but no one could save her.
Was this her way of punishing me, making me never forget her?
On New Year’s Eve, I wanted to give her a surprise. I bought a ring and planned to record a proposal video during the fireworks, but then I ran into Vivian.
I never imagined that would be the day I lost her forever.
I asked myself countless times… If I had just chosen to trust her back then, would things have
turned out differently?
But… what was the point now?
Cressida was gone.
I still couldn’t believe it.
I thought she must be playing a joke on me.
But when I saw that terminal diagnosis report at home, it all hit me.
That was the moment I hated myself with every fiber of my being.
Cressida was truly gone.
I envied Lucian, wondering why the one who got to be by her side in the end wasn’t me.
But what I hated most was myself. I had killed her.
I indirectly caused her parents‘ deaths, and Lucian was right. I destroyed her.
And that was… unforgivable.
I investigated the truth, only to realize how horribly wrong I had been. I confronted Vivian, but
nothing changed.
As Vivian had said, Cressida really was gone.
And I, I was the most disgusting person of all.
Even if I cried and begged, it wouldn’t matter.
Late love? No one wanted it.
I knew that Cressida must have hated me.
I didn’t deserve to live in this world anymore.
Cressida must have hated me.
I didn’t deserve to live in this world anymore.
Time passed quickly, and I lived in torment, day after day.
I noticed that every moment, she appeared before me.
On New Year’s Day, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I thought it was time to fulfill my promise.
Without Cressida, I would die.
It was time to end everything.
The End
