Mom’s face turned green when she got the call. Brittany’s sobs echoed through the closed door. Jason had cheated. Brittany and my parents
bore the brunt of the pain.
Mom was heartbroken. She raged and cursed.
grabbed her purse and threatened to march
over to Jason’s and give him a piece of her
mind. Dad stopped her. “Making a scene won’t
solve anything.”
“I don’t care!” Mom was determined. “He
cheated! I’ll ruin him. He’ll be the laughingstock
of the town!”
Dad finally talked her down. He still worked for
Jason’s father. He couldn’t afford to lose his
job. And Brittany and Mom had already told
everyone about the upcoming wedding.
Dad still hoped for a peaceful resolution, a way
for everyone to save face and go back to how
things were.
<
11:21
“Let’s keep this quiet,” he pleaded.
Brittany was madly in love with Jason. She was
willing to swallow her pride, to pretend nothing.
had happened, just to stay with him.
But Jason wouldn’t budge. He was done.
Brittany came home, eyes swollen and red,
Even though she was my uncle’s daughter, shet
was treated like the golden child, the true
daughter of the house. Mom and Dad fussed.
over her, taking her side, offering comfort.
I just watched, a silent observer. The golden.
child wasn’t happy about that.
While Dad was at work and Mom was out
buying her comfort food, Brittany snatched the
tablet I was using and smashed it on the floor.
“What are you smiling about, you bitch?” Her
pretty face was contorted in a mask of rage.
<
“Want another lollipop?”
48
She was used to having me beneath her heel,
used to the envy in my eyes. Now, simply
witnessing her pain, a flicker of detached
amusement, was enough to set her off.
“Remember the parent–teacher conference? I warned you. Behave yourself around me.”
Her voice was low, laced with menace. “Cross me again, and I’ll destroy you.”
Right. With Brittany around, why would Mom
bother showing up for my parent–teacher conference? That conference…it was for
Brittany. We just happened to be in the same class.
“Double this month. $200. Pay up by New
Year’s. Or you get the lollipop.”
11:21
The word made my stomach churn. But I
touched the voice recorder in my pocket, a
flicker of satisfaction warming me. Another little
gift for Mom. A New Year’s surprise.
- 12.
My phone alarm went off, the screen
illuminating Brittany’s face. The picture of
Jason and me kissing flashed across the
screen. “Disgust…” she started to say, then her
eyes fixed on the man on the screen.
I snatched the phone back, turning off the
display. “Who’s that?” she demanded, her voice.
a mix of fury and hurt.
“N–no one,” I stammered, feigning nervousness.
“Give me the phone!” She reached for it. I
pulled it away. “Give it to me!” she roared.
lunging at me.
Mom walked in just then, still carrying her
groceries. Without hesitation, she joined the
frav, her fists raining down on my back My
already aching back screamed in protest.
It felt like a hole was being punched through
me, draining me of blood and warmth.
I thought I heard Mom’s voice, a soft whisper
from the past. “My Ashley is the sweetest little
girl in the world, isn’t she?”
“Mommy loves Ashley the most.”
A gentle hand patted my back, and I giggled.
clinging to her neck.
Then, a sharp slap brought me crashing back to
reality. “Don’t you dare hurt Brittany!” Mom’s
face was a mask of fury.
I felt hollow, empty, like a cicada shedding its
skin. My wig fell off. My scalp was cold.
skin. My wig fell off. My scalp was cold.
Oh, right. Chemo. I’d forgotten. My hair was all
gone.
>
- 13.
11:22
47
For a second, I thought Mom’s heart might have.
actually softened. Her face was that ashen.
Blood is thicker than water, right? But the
moment passed. She looked away in disgust,
nudging my wig with her foot.
“You’re blinding me with that ugliness,” she
said. “Put your wig back on. Have some self-
awareness. Don’t tell anyone you’re my
daughter. I’m embarrassed.”
Not for much longer.
I shouldn’t have expected anything different.
Brittany didn’t tell Mom about the picture on
my phone. Either she didn’t believe it, or she
was too humiliated.
Brittany, so proud, so popular. Even though she
never cared about school, she could charm her
way through life, always the center of attention,
<
“If I find out you’re behind this, I’ll tell everyone
about you and that loser. You’ll never be able to
show your face again!” she threatened that
afternoon, before storming out. Another
recording for my collection. She thought she
could control me forever. But I was dying. What
did I have to lose?
- 14.
I didn’t make dinner. I couldn’t get out of bed.
The pain was everywhere. Mom didn’t bother
cooking either. She ordered takeout. Just for
her and Dad.
It didn’t matter. I could barely taste food
anymore. Everything was bland, tasteless. Later,
Dad came home. He whispered something to
Mom, then came into my room
the game
