I watched as she produced a small pharmacy from her purse, pressing the medicine into my hand. “Take these. Let’s exchange numbers. Call me if you feel worse tonight.”
“…”
She cut me off. “Your mom said you hate taking pills, so I got you some gummy snacks. It won’t
be so bad.”
I softened. What was the point in being hostile?
I couldn’t bring myself to dislike Amelia. She was kind, graceful, everything Liam would want.
Thanks, Amelia.”
“Don’t call me Amelia! Call me Amy.”
And just like that, instead of mending things
with Liam, I became close with his girlfriend.
Amy was far more bubbly and outgoing than I’d
expected. We started having dinner together,
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Liam’s giniena. She loved documenting our adventures, every outing ending up on her
social media.
“Your apartment is so… vintage,” she said one
day. “I’m moving soon, found a great place. Wanna take a look?”
I scrolled through the pictures she sent, frowning. “Isn’t that expensive?”
Amy winked. “Not really. I have a friend who hooked me up with a great deal. You know how it is.”
–
“Okay, cool. The security at my place is sketchy anyway. I never feel safe.” Although Liam and his parents hadn’t cut me off financially – in fact, Liam still sent money occasionally — I hadn’t touched a cent. No matter how nice, any apartment would pale in comparison to the life I had with the Walkers. But it wasn’t a big deal. I’d lived in foster care until I was eight. I wasn’t as fragile as they thought.
く
Amy looked at me, then asked, “What about
your boyfriend? He’ll move in with you, right?”
I stuck my tongue out. “Boyfriend? That was a
lie. I just told Liam that.”
For some reason, I sensed relief wash over her.
“Oh! Well, I can’t blame him for being upset. He
was a little harsh, but imagine finding out your
little sister, who you’ve always protected, is
living with some guy secretly. Anyone would be
angry.”
I found myself thinking about Liam constantly,
even when I was with Amy. My brother, who I
hadn’t spoken to since that awful night, was an
invisible presence, always there in the
periphery. Amy’s laughter reminded me of
Liam’s. Her stories reminded me of Liam’s. She
was like a little sunbeam, radiating positive
energy. Liam must be taking good care of her. She seemed happy.
<
I felt like I was looking at myself from the bottom of a well, covered in mud, croaking at the sky like a frog. I love Liam. This shameful secret prevented me from being truly honest with anyone. They were happy. Everyone was moving on. I would ruin everything for everyone who loved me. I needed to forget about Liam.
“So, when are you guys getting married?” I asked. “I call dibs on being a bridesmaid.”
Amy shook her head. “Way too early to talk about that. Let’s change the subject.”
Amy and I moved into the same complex, just different buildings. It was a safe, upscale area, but the rent was suspiciously low. Around that time, I started dating a guy named Josh. We were in the same graduating class, and he finally worked up the courage to confess his feelings. I said yes. I threw myself into the relationship, trying to prove to myself that my feelings for Liam were iust familial attachment.
<
not romantic love.
- ))
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Josh was sweet, with a cute, crooked smile. We went on dates, just like any other couple. Amy,
noticing my absence, asked why we hadn’t had dinner together lately.
“Josh and I have been going out.” I teased,
“Amy, you shouldn’t always be eating with me. You should be with my brother. That’s how you build a strong relationship.”
She looked at me suspiciously. “Is he real this time?”
I showed her a picture of Josh and me. She
studied it for a long moment before exclaiming, “Wow… he’s cute!”
I noticed something odd. “Why are you sweating so much?”
