All those little signals, the blatant closeness…it made me create ridiculous fantasies. Now, I
was seeing the brutal truth. They were just that: fantasies.
- 5.
“You better treasure this horse!” Ethan had
said. “It cost me a girlfriend. If it gets chipped, you’re paying!” His words echoed in my ears as I stared at the fragments, a strange laugh escaping my lips. “This is better, actually. Saves
me the trouble of packing it.”
“You…” Ethan stared, stunned. “You’re really
leaving?”
What? Did he think I was putting on a show like
them? Did he think I was so pathetically in love
<
with him that I’d just suck it up? Didn’t he see
the contradiction?
“Bang!” Overflowing with emotion, I smashed.
the mug Ethan had given me. The shattering sound was strangely cathartic. I grabbed my
utility knife. “No need for you to disinfect,” I sneered. “I’ll do it myself! This place will be
spotless before I leave!”
The room went silent. They watched,
dumbfounded, as I destroyed everything related
to Ethan and our two–year friendship: clothes,
shoes, a basketball…
Ethan’s face darkened. He grabbed my wrist.
“Stop it, Caleb!” His voice was strained. “Just…
drop it. We don’t have to kick you out. We
can…go back to how things were. Be friends,
okay?”
- 6.
It was laughable. They didn’t have to kick me
out? Then what was the whole disinfection,
room–change drama about? Oh, right. A
warning. Back off, suppress my “disgusting”
<
feelings for him, or they wouldn’t tolerate me.
“Should I be thanking you for your
magnanimity? For giving me a chance to
redeem myself?”
Ethan frowned. “Caleb.”
I scoffed, gave him one last look, and went
back to packing. They couldn’t tolerate me,
period. No need for the fake compassion. Go
back to how things were? How? Be friends?
Even if I could pretend nothing happened, could he? Could he un–know my feelings, suddenly
decide liking guys wasn’t disgusting?
I didn’t own much. After trashing Ethan’s gifts,
everything fit in one suitcase. I zipped it up and
stood. Ethan grabbed my wrist again.
“Think this through,” he said, his eyes dark.
“You leave this room, you don’t come back.”
I met his gaze, pulling my hand free. “I’ve
thought it through,” I said calmly. “I won’t be
back.”
Prejudice was a thorn, lodged deep. Things
between us could never be the same.
But my words seemed to enrage Ethan. He
く
laughed bitterly. “Fine, Caleb. Fine!”
- 7.
The forum post exploded. My RA, Mr.
Henderson, heard about it, of course. He looked
at my room change request, frowning. “Moving
out is easy,” he sighed, “but where will you go?”
The implication was clear. No other all–male
dorm would likely want me. As if liking a guy
made me contagious.
“I’ll find an off–campus apartment, Mr.
Henderson,” I said with a bitter smile.
“Come stay with us!” A cheerful voice
interrupted.
I turned. The athletic department’s RA was
looking at me with a friendly smile. “Such a
good–looking young man, perfect for our
department.”
