“What self–awareness?” I asked, confused. “Not allowed to touch?”
Leo’s chest heaved. He seemed to be grinding
his teeth. After a moment, he said, his voice husky, “The self–awareness of being gay!” I blinked, then let out a suggestive laugh. “What’s being gay got to do with anything? You’re gay, I’m gay, we’re a match made in heaven! Marry me, Leo!” I leaned in, grinning. Leo pushed my forehead away. “Get lost,” he said, his voice rough. “Your heart’s not even clear yet, and you’re coming on to me?”
“Hee hee.” I straightened, unfazed, just grinning up at him. Without his usual cool facade, Leo was actually…really nice. Disciplined,
considerate, insightful, smart, and ridiculously
hot Sometimes looking at him I felt a nang of
- ))
hot. Sometimes, looking at him, I felt a pang of envy. How could one person be so perfect?
“Someone’s gonna be blind to let a catch like
you get away,” I said, twirling the ends of the towel around my neck, turning to grab my shirt. A flicker of movement in the corner of my eye made me jump. I looked up. Ethan stood in the doorway, his eyes fixed on me, filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher.
Leo saw him too and chuckled. “You really like our room, huh? If you want to move in, just
submit a transfer request. 601 welcomes you with open arms.”
- 21.
Ethan’s face darkened. He ignored the
comment about transferring, focusing on me.
“Caleb, come back.”
Come back? Had one of us lost our memory? It
had been barely two weeks since I’d moved out of 303. Hadn’t he said, “You leave this room,
you don’t come back“?
Maybe my look was too icy. Ethan’s expression
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softened slightly. “You saw, right?” he said.
“The posts are gone.”
I nodded. The original post, and the one about
my limp, vanished three days after I moved. Gone without a trace.
But I knew. It wasn’t truly gone. Screenshots probably existed on someone’s phone. The “fact” that I was a gay “pervert” was etched in everyone’s minds.
“So,” Ethan continued, his gaze intense, “you can come back. I’ll make sure Chad and Blake
keep their mouths shut. We can go back to how things were.”
Back to how things were. Again. Was Ethan delusional? How could a twenty–something- year–old guy be so naive?
I wasn’t stupid. His behavior over the past two weeks, combined with this…there was only one explanation: he missed me.
But so what? His feelings were purely platonic. Or, to be blunt, he wanted to “fix” me. Make
me straight again, at least outwardly.
- 22.
“Ethan, honestly, I’m kind of flattered,” I said. “At least our two–plus years of friendship
meant something. A straight guy going this far for me? Impressive. But sexuality? It’s like the weather. Can’t change it. And the damage is done. Deleting a few posts and issuing threats
won’t fix that.”
Look at Leo. He had the muscle, the money, the
power. He’d silenced everyone, yet he still
chose to live alone.
Ethan looked desperate. “I didn’t write that
post! Chad overheard your confession…”
“Yeah,” I said, “I figured.” Ethan never liked
attention. Posting online for drama wasn’t his
style. It was totally Chad.
But did it really matter who posted it?
My lack of reaction seemed to throw Ethan off.
His eyes flickered with panic. “I don’t think
you’re a pervert. I don’t think you’re
disgusting.”
I smiled faintly. “Yeah, but you don’t want other
,
<
people thinking you’re a pervert, either.” That’s
why he’d trailed off earlier. He knew. It didn’t
matter who posted it. What mattered was that
anyone associated with me now had to be
prepared to be labeled, to be stared at, to be
judged. I didn’t expect anyone to pick sides.
Stay or leave, it was their choice. Ethan had
already made his.
“Ethan, let’s just leave it,” I said. “You’re a
straight guy. Don’t get mixed up with a pervert like me. Don’t come here anymore.” I sighed and patted his shoulder. He grabbed my wrist, his grip surprisingly strong. His eyes were filled with confusion and something like…hurt.
“Do you think…I haven’t tried?” he said, his voice strained. “I…I thought I wanted you gone! But I can’t. It’s…it’s just not right without you here. The room feels empty. You think I want to waste my time here every night? I don’t! But the thought of you and Vance…being…together…I can’t stand it!” He’d practically shouted the last part. He ran a hand over his face. “Caleb, I’m serious. Come back. I’ll…be with you.”
