C03
“If you wanted to have a child with Chindy, you could have just told me. I would’ve hidden it from Mom and Dad
for you.”
“Instead, you disguised birth control pills as folic acid and tricked me into taking them.”
“I can accept many things, but I can’t accept you hurting me.”
Looking back on these five years of marriage with Ferry, some moments felt surreal. For the most part, we treated each other with distant respect, but there were times when our relationship seemed… real.
There were nights when he would come home drunk, his body heavy against mine, murmuring, “Honey…”
“Do you think we’re happy? I do.”
Then he would hold me tighter. I would get up to make him sobering soup, but he would pull me back. “Nothing sobers me up better than having you by my side.”
“Just stay with me a little longer.”
At first, I wondered if he was thinking of someone else. But over time, I convinced myself otherwise. I welcomed
those moments, allowing myself to bask in the scent of alcohol on him, the warmth of his presence. He would give me small gestures of romance now and then. On holidays, he would sweet–talk both our parents.
Sometimes, he would stand in my parents‘ house, his arm wrapped around my waist, saying, “Don’t worry,
and Dad. Karen is wonderful. Marrying her was one of the best decisions I ever made.”
Even if I always suspected it was an act, those words made me believe, even for a fleeting moment, that maybe -just maybe–fate was tying us together for life. Even if we weren’t lovers, we were family. But he had been so ruthless. So heartless, watching me take birth control pills for three years without a word.
If my bestfriend hadn’t discovered the truth, I would have kept taking them, never knowing.
His hand trembled as he held the report, his gaze clouded. His voice was barely more than a whisper, “I was
afraid you’d be sad.”
“I won’t give them to you anymore.”
7:49 AM J
Birth Control Pills from My Husband Made Me Ran To An Old Love
Two short sentences. No apology. No remorse.
Just an escape from the consequences of his own betrayal. I let out a cold laugh. Was he afraid of upsetting me? Or was he just afraid that if he had told me the truth, he wouldn’t get what he wanted?
Ferry’s selfishness and hypocrisy made me sick.
“You say it so easily, but do you have any idea how much pain I went through? How many nights I lost sleep, thinking something was wrong with me?”
I slowly took the hospital report from his hands and pointed at the results.
“The doctor said I took too many birth control pills. My hormones are completely messed up. It might make me
infertile.”
“You only ever wanted a child with the woman you love. Did you ever think that I should have had the right to be a
mother, too?”
“Now that you’re satisfied, you don’t have to feed me pills anymore. But because of you, I might never be able to
have a child.”
My voice broke. The tears I had been holding back spilled over, my body shaking with emotion.
“But it doesn’t matter anymore. We have no future, Ferry. I hate you.”
When the
After confirming the pills‘ ingredients, I had gone straight to the hospital for a full check–up, hoping for reassurance. But reality wasn’t kind. I couldn’t escape the damage those pills had done to my body doctor told me that getting pregnant would be difficult, I felt something inside me break.
That was the moment I truly began to hate Ferry. And now, my hatred for him had reached its peak. I would never forgive him. Without another word, I turned and walked into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. As I did, my
computer screen lit up.
A new email. It was William Larson.
He had been waiting for me abroad for so long. Even after we had officially separated, he never stopped reaching
out. Every week, without fail, he sent me an email.
And now, just as he had always done, he had written again. I took a deep breath, wiped my tears, and pulled myself together. Then, I opened the email.
Clipped inside was a blurry picture of a black hole.
