<
“Get out!” I could feel the tears welling up.
Of course I wanted him. But even if I did, I’d
never see that 18–year–old Sean again.
And the 28–year–old Sean…I didn’t even dare
to think about him.
Nurse Chloe was going home for the holidays. She gave me strict instructions. “Take your
meds, keep your IV in! No pulling it out, no
wandering around.”
I dutifully repeated her words. “Take my meds,
keep my IV in! No pulling, no wandering.”
Nurse Chloe was satisfied. I leaned on the
counter. “Can I get some extra pain meds? It
really hurts at night.”
She shook her head, leaning closer. “Why don’t you let that guy in? Let him keep you company. It’s Christmas, after all.”
3:24
I shook my head. It was precisely because he was out there that it hurt so much.
The ache in my heart amplified the pain in my
body.
On Christmas Eve, Sean wasn’t outside my door. I didn’t care. I wandered around for a bit, then went back to my room to watch TV.
Firecrackers exploded outside. I stood by the window, soaking in the festive atmosphere.
“Knock, knock.”
“Claire, Merry Christmas.” Sean stood there,
holding a cake, a small smile playing on his lips.
The candlelight flickered in his eyes.
“Claire, make a wish.” He eagerly pushed the
cake toward me.
I leaned against the doorframe, my expression.
88
<
3:24
I Diew OUT the candle. Two years ago, on new
Year’s Eve, I told you I was lonely and wanted.
you to stay with me. You came home, then at 11
pm you said you had to leave. Some big
project, a client dinner…you had to work.”
“Work? I heard everything. Chloe said she was
scared and wanted you with her.”
I crossed my arms. “That night, I spent New
Year’s alone. The winter felt so cold, and the
new year felt meaningless. Since then…I haven’t looked forward to New Year’s.
You forgot. I didn’t. I stopped looking forward
to new beginnings a long time ago.
And I wouldn’t have any more new beginnings.
Sean’s hands trembled. He looked like he
wanted to make excuses, but I didn’t want to hear them.
* know che was pronnant right? You should
<
have been there for her. My biggest regret is
not seeing the truth back then. I still hoped
you’d change your mind. If I had known, maybe I’d be making New Year’s wishes now.”
“I want to live to be a hundred. Can you grant
me that wish?”
I slammed the door in his face. I hoped it broke
his nose.
