6
Jason’s eyes filled with tears, his face a mask
of despair. He forced the words out. “Did she
know?”
“I didn’t tell her. I felt bad for her parents, and
even worse for her. How could I tell her?”
<
He started shaking.
“Mom, she’s gone. She was disappointed in
me…”
He looked at the baby in her arms. The words.
that he was about to say became difficult to
say. “She… doesn’t even want the baby? She
used to protect him so much…”
When he first learned that I was pregnant, he
tried to convince me to have an abortion
several times.
Once, he dragged me to the clinic, but I didn’t
want to abort. I ran from the operating room,
barefoot, protecting my stomach and stumbling all the way home, and asked his mother for
help.
“And you have the nerve to say that? I’ve never seen such a cold–blooded person. If I knew you’d turn out like this, I wouldn’t have let Sarah
<
9:05
994
marry you,” Mrs. Hawthorne yelled, “The
biggest mistake I’ve ever made was bringing
you two together! You don’t deserve her love!”
The baby burst into tears. Mrs. Hawthorne
comforted him.
She didn’t spare Jason a second glance as she
walked to the baby’s room.
Tears rolled down his face, bringing a burning
sensation to the back of his hands.
“Sarah, I’m sorry…”
He’d assumed that I had persuaded his mother
to force him to marry an orphan like me.
So he took out all his anger on me.
He knew I longed for a family, so he ignored
- me.
<
9:05
The kinder I was, the more disgusted he felt.
So he slept with other women, trying to get
back at me.
994
Over the last five years, he’d become more and
more reckless, but I never argued or asked for a
divorce.
He thought I couldn’t live without him.
Now he realized that my silence was because I
no longer loved him.
It was a shame that he realized, and now I was
gone.
I’d arrived in the town that the orphanage
director gave me.
As soon as I got to the police station, an older
man walked over and stared. “You look just like
her! You’re Song An’s daughter, aren’t you?”
<
9:05
994
I didn’t know my dad’s name, so I shook my
head. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
He led me to his office.
As soon as I walked in, I saw a framed photo on
his desk.
One of the men caught my attention.
He noticed my gaze, picked up the frame, and
said, “This is Song An. You have his eyes.”
He was right. Our eyes were similar.
Was this my dad?
6
Uncle Wang gave me the letter and key that my
parents had left behind. He said, “I’ve been
looking for you for twenty years. This is what
>
9:05
your dad left behind before you were born. I’m
glad I can finally give them back.”
The key he gave me was to a new house that
my dad had purchased
Sadly, they hadn’t had a chance to move in.
I took the letter and key and thanked him.
Uncle Wang took me to the house and then left.
The house hadn’t been occupied in twenty
years, and was filled with dust.
Standing in the doorway, I was overwhelmed
with emotion.
I opened the letter and saw my dad’s
handwriting.
He’d already chosen a name before I was born:
Song Shinian.
9:05
Because my mom’s name had the character
“Shi“, he used his last name with her given
name.
994
Tears streamed down my face and fell onto the
letter.
I’d always thought that I was abandoned in an
orphanage.
But my parents loved me.
Clutching the letter, I cried.
I cleaned the house and had dinner.
The next day, I went to the DMV to change my
name.
The employee looked at my information and checked again. “Are you sure you want to
change your name? All your information will be
Changeu.
I nodded. “I want to change my name back to
Song Shinian.”
With my new name, I was no longer Song Yan,
who wasn’t loved.
I had a new identity now.
I asked Uncle Wang for my dad’s burial site and
bought wine and flowers.
I had looked up his name and found his
pictures. That meant his family records were
gone.
Although Uncle Wang didn’t tell me what had
happened, I could guess, so I didn’t ask him.
Since they didn’t want me to know, I decided
not to ask.
I said a lot of things to him.
I said a lot of things to him.
I didn’t mention anything about Jason.
I stroked the headstone and left.
I didn’t want to leave again.
So I used the money Jason gave me to open a
coffee shop not far from the apartment.
When I first opened the store, I was busy, but it
felt good.
I felt like I found myself again.
I used to revolve around Jason.
I didn’t want that in my life anymore.
I left, and Jason had a change of heart.
Г
He fired his secretary, changed to a male secretary, and focused on his work.
994
At work, he made tough decisions, but at home,
he was a dad.
To take better care of the child, he took the
time to learn how to care for babies.
Every time his mother saw this, she couldn’t
help but mock him, saying that he should have done this from the start.
Jason said, “She’ll come back. She’ll realize that
her family and husband are here.”
His mother scoffed. “She gave up her only
relative in the world because of you. She won’t
come back. You’re dreaming.”
