16
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I wasn’t surprised. It had always been this
way. But this time, after clearing the table,
Mom locked herself in my room. She held my
photo, her fingers tracing my face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry,
Ashley. You suffered so much. We failed you.
I failed you. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make
them all apologize.”
She opened the drawer and took out a bottle of sleeping pills, prescribed after weeks of
nightmares. I watched her crush the pills,
dissolve them in water.
The next day, she cooked a big meal, lacing
every dish with the sleeping pills. They ate,
drowsy, then went to their rooms to sleep.
And Mom… she opened all the bedroom
doors, locked the front door, collected their
phones, smashed them, and threw them out
the window, along with the house keys. She
sealed all the windows, turned on the gas
stove, set the flames high, and then doused
them with water.
Then she sat on the sofa, holding my photo,
waiting for death.
I floated in front of her, face to face, like
through the glass at the police station. I
watched her breathing grow shallow, her
pupils dilate, her lips turn a cherry red.
<
I said, “Mom, why are you doing this? Will
dying atone for everything? Will it make them
forgive you?”
It won’t. I will always hate you. I will never
forgive you.
As her life ebbed away, the faint thread
connecting us dissolved. I floated towards the
door. As I reached it, the last vestige of the
bond vanished.
I heard Mom’s voice, tentative, full of joy:
“Ashley? Is that you? Don’t go, Ashley.
Mommy wants to see you…”
…watching them – the perfect family of four
– go out for a fun day. You wouldn’t see me,
not even in death.
Mom.
My spirit dissolved into fragments, scattering in the wind. I saw Grandma, in her soft floral dress, reaching for my hand. She said, “I’ve spent twenty years searching for the perfect family for you, Ashley. You will be happy in your next life. I’ll be your grandma again. I’ll plant a spring shoot tree and a peach tree in front of our house.”
Night fell. Before my consciousness faded completely, I saw the most beautiful sight. Countless streaks of light crossed the night
Join the bookshelf
Night fell. Before my consciousness faded
completely, I saw the most beautiful sight.
Countless streaks of light crossed the night
sky, scattering across the mountains and the
sea. A meteor shower.
They say if you make a wish on a shooting
star, it will come true.
So, in my next life, I wish for parents who love
- me. They don’t have to be rich. Just a
birthday cake, a red balloon at the
amusement park. That’s all I want.
That’s all I want.