6
That afternoon, Chloe and Finn left for their
new home. I followed my parents and Zach.
Zach drove, Mom and Dad sat in the back.
The empty passenger seat had always been
Chloe’s. I sat there, listening to them discuss
my sins.
“She hates me, hates this family so much, she
wouldn’t even come to her own sister’s
wedding.” Mom leaned wearily against Dad’s
shoulder. “I feel like I’ve failed as a mother.”
Dad patted her hand sympathetically. “An
ungrateful brat. You shouldn’t waste your
energy on her.”
<
I turned to look at their faces, searching for
even a flicker of concern. But there was none.
My sudden disappearance only angered and
disgusted them. Not once did any of them
wonder if something had happened to me.
Even as a ghost, I could still cry. Tears
streamed down my face as I laughed. “Mom,
did you ever, truly love me?”
“If you hated me so much, why did you even
give birth to me?”
I’d asked the same question a long time ago. I
was in eighth grade, a stressful year of
studying. Dad was away on business, Zach
was still young, Chloe had just started
く
college. Mom developed kidney stones, and it
was me who ran back and forth between
school and the hospital, taking care of her
until I was exhausted and thin.
Mom seemed touched. That month, she gave
me more allowance than Zach. She bragged
to the neighbors about how thoughtful and
filial I was. When I was bullied at school, she
even went and stood up for me. It seemed
like things were getting better.
Until one afternoon, as we were crossing the
street, she suddenly took my hand. Such a
gesture of motherly affection was so
unfamiliar that I instinctively pulled away,
causing her to stumble back. The light turned
L
red. A car sped past us.
Mom’s eyes changed. They turned cold, a
look I knew all too well. She said flatly, “Just
a heartless brat after all.”
That night, overwhelmed by regret and
confusion, I used a compass to dig holes in
my arm, but even the pain couldn’t ease the
despair and anxiety churning inside me.
Finally, I went into Mom’s room and asked,
“Mom, if you don’t love me, why did you have
me?”
Mom closed her eyes and didn’t say a word.
But I knew she was awake. She didn’t bother
answering when I was alive. Now that I was
<
dead, she couldn’t hear me, let alone respond.
