My sobs mixed with the shaking of the
I looked up and pointed at the person behind
the camera.
“What are you doing? Hold the camera
steady.”
Sarah cried harder.
“You’re the one! What are you saying?”
I laughed and beckoned her over.
“Look at you. Let’s go home and eat your
food.”
“Amy! I’m not gonna talk to you if you keep
this up!”
I grinned and put my arm around her
shoulders.
“Don’t worry. I’m freakin‘ invincible!
“A little cancer? No problem!
“Hahahahaha!”
- 5.
[Goodbye World, 4/18/2023, 8:27 AM I
forget I’m sick sometimes]
“Amy! Amy, open the door!”
Sarah was banging on the door.
The camera was propped up on the side.
Sarah didn’t even have time to position the
camera.
You could only see her legs.
Inside the house, I was yelling and crying.
“Go away! Leave me alone! Get out!”
Then came the sound of violent vomiting.
Sarah was frantic.
“Amy, I’m gonna break down the door! What’s
going on? Let me see you!”
“Go away! Leave me alone!”
My heart–wrenching cries were coming right
through the screen.
Sarah slammed into the door.
く
The old wood splintered and broke open.
I was kneeling by the trash can, my hair
matted to my face with vomit, looking a mess.
I looked nothing like the girl who was laughing
and singing yesterday.
I looked up, desperate, eyes red.
“Sarah…”
“Amy.”
She knelt and hugged me, ignoring my mess.
I shakily hugged her back, rested my chin on
her shoulder, and cried.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled…
“But I wake up sometimes and forget.
“I forget that I’m sick…
“Then I stare at the ceiling for a long time,
realizing I have cancer…
“I’m sick… I’m sick, Sarah…”
I was sobbing.
Sarah squeezed me tighter.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, Amy. You’re gonna get
through this. You can…
“You’re Amy…”
Г
- 6.
[Goodbye World, 4/21/2024, 4:34 PM
Forgetting can be a gift for the dying
sometimes]
–
I leaned on Sarah’s shoulder, my arm bruised
from IVs.
My voice was hoarse.
“What am I gonna do, Sarah? I’m running out
of places to stick the needle. It hurts so bad.”
“Oh, now it hurts? You didn’t think about that
when you stayed up all night trying to get
concert tickets?”
