“I’m so sorry!” she wailed, fake tears streaming down her face. “Hit me! Do whatever you want, just let us go!”
<
I had a key.
Silence.
Something felt wrong. I unlocked the door.
The smell of blood hit me like a wall. The
sheets were soaked crimson. Lily lay on her
back, half her body submerged in a pool of
blood. Deep gashes sliced across her wrists.
“Lily!”
I scooped her up and ran.
“Mom! Dad! Lily’s tried to kill herself!”
1 AM. The hospital. I sat on a cold metal chair,
staring at the closed doors of the operating
room, my stomach clenching every time a nurse
went in or out.
I was twelve years older than Lily. Mom had her
く
when I was in sixth grade. When Mom was
pregnant, my uncle teased me, saying I was
going to be replaced. So, at first, I resented her.
Then, one afternoon, I came home from school
and saw Mom holding this tiny, pink bundle. Lily
was sleeping, sucking her thumb, smelling of
baby powder. The look on Mom’s face… pure,
overflowing love.
I felt a pang of jealousy.
Then Lily woke up. Her bright eyes fixed on
mine. She gurgled and smiled.
Mom gasped. “She’s been crying all day at the
hospital, and now she sees her big brother and
she smiles! She loves you already!”
Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.
By the time she was three or four, she was my
shadow. Every day after school, I’d open the
く
door and she’d run to me, arms outstretched.
When I did my homework, she’d stand quietly
beside me, her little head resting on the table.
“Jake, do you want some fruit?” Mom would
ask.
I’d shake my head. Lily would pipe up, “Brother
says no.”
“How about some milk?”
I’d nod. Lily would scamper off. “Brother says
yes!”
Mom would laugh. “You’re such a little
copycat.”
Lily carefully placed the milk on the table.
“Brother, what’s a copycat?”
“Someone who copies everything someone else
does.”
<
She puffed out her chest. “Then I’m Brother’s
copycat!”
Later, when money got tight, I wanted to drop
out of school and get a job to help pay for
Lily’s education. Dad caught me skipping class
and dragged me home. He made me kneel while
he beat me with his belt.
Lily stood in front of me. “Don’t hit Brother!”
Dad dropped the belt and started to cry. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry. He said he
was useless, couldn’t provide for his children.
Later, Lily told me, “Brother, you have to study
hard so you can get a good job and marry a good wife…” She trailed off, then turned to
Mom. “Mommy, what comes next?”
I promised Lily I’d never skip school again. I’d study hard and go to a good college.
<
Lily held out her pinky. “Pinky swear. One
hundred years, no changes.”
That was our pact. Pinky swears were sacred. Unbreakable.
Then I went off to college. Lily started middle school. The last few times I’d been home, she’d been quiet. I thought it was just teenage angst, not wanting to share everything with her big brother anymore.
I should have known better. Why didn’t I see it?
The doctor finally emerged. My mind raced,
imagining the worst. I stared at his lips,
dreading the words he might speak. Mom tried
to stand, but couldn’t.
“Lily’s stable. She lost a lot of blood, she’s still
unconscious. Someone should stay with her.”
He paused. “She was millimeters from severing
an artery. You need to pay attention to her
く
mental health.”
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
I nodded vigorously.
They wheeled Lily out. She looked so small, so
frail. Her face was a patchwork of bruises, her
hair hacked unevenly, exposing patches of
scalp. The rage boiled up again, choking me.
I stayed until morning, but Lily didn’t wake up. I
went to get breakfast for Mom and Dad. On the
way back, I saw the principal on the phone in
the lobby.
“Heard that kid tried to off herself. What a
damn mess,” he said, his thick lips flapping.
“The superintendent’s visiting next week, and
now this. Of all the times… Make sure the press
stays away from this. The family’s nobody, easy
to manage.”
I threw my hot coffee at him.
He yelped, turning to see me. His face went
white.
41
Shouting erupted from the second floor. Mom’s voice. “What do you want?”
I ran.
Brittany’s father was back, with a couple of tattooed thugs.
“Just trying to be reasonable. A little extra for medical expenses, right? Stop with the theatrics. Another thousand, is that enough?”
Mom’s eyes were red. “How can you say that? My daughter is lying in there! I don’t want your money…”
“Oh, you don’t?” He laughed. “You all heard her? She doesn’t want it. Not my fault!”
Dad yelled, “You animals!”
