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The hospital, one in the morning.
I sat on a cold chair, staring at the operating
room doors, every time a nurse came in or
out I jumped.
I’m twelve years older than Sarah. I was in
sixth grade when Mom had her.
When she was pregnant, my uncle teased me
saying, “You’re getting a sister, your mom
and dad won’t love you anymore!”
So I didn’t like her at first.
Until one day after school, I saw Mom being
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discharged with a small baby in her arms.
She was sucking her thumb, covered in a
fresh baby smell.
My mom looked at her with an endless
amount of love.
I was jealous.
Then Sarah woke up, looked at me with her
big eyes, and laughed.
Mom said, “She was crying up a storm at the
hospital, but she laughed at the sight of her
brother. She likes her brother.”
That’s when I realized she wasn’t so bad.
When she turned three or four, she would
follow me, waiting for me at the door to give
me a hug when I got home.
When I did my homework, she would watch,
putting her head on the table.
Mom would ask, “Danny, do you want some
fruit?”
I would shake my head.
Then Sarah would say, “My brother doesn’t
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want any.”
“Want some milk?”
I would nod.
Then Sarah would run and say, “My brother
does.”
Mom would laugh, “Sarah is her brother’s
sidekick.”
She would carefully put the milk on the table
and ask, “Brother, what is a sidekick?”
“Someone who follows people.”
وو
She would proudly say, “Then I’m my
brother’s sidekick!”
Later, when I was a little older, I wanted to
drop out of school to help with Sarah’s
tuition.
When I skipped school, my dad caught me
and I was forced to kneel in the living room.
as punishment.
Sarah stood in front of me saying, “Don’t hit
my brother.
My dad threw the belt down, started crying,
and said he couldn’t afford a good life for us.
That was the first time I saw him cry.
Later, Sarah and I promised to study and get
a good job.
Sarah held out her pinky, “Pinky promise, we
can’t change our minds.”
That was our agreement, we could never
change anything after we made a pinky
promise.
Then I went to college and Sarah was in
middle school.
When I came home, she would barely talk.
I thought she was going through puberty, I
wish I would’ve known.
Why didn’t I see it?
