- 3.
The doctors noticed that my heart rate was
too high during the whole surgery.
They kept telling me to calm down.
I was numb from the waist down, but I still
felt the tugging when they pulled the baby.
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out.
“Is it a boy?” I asked the doctor.
She thought I wanted a boy. “It’s a boy,” she
said.
I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
The nurse wrapped the baby up and showed
him to me while they finished stitching me up.
Just one look.
I knew for sure.
Everything in my head was real.
The baby had two cowlicks on his head.
His face was exactly the same as before.
The nurse took the baby to get a bath, and I
had to wait to be wheeled out of the
operating room.
I told the nurse, “Tell my husband to stay with
the baby at all times.”
Last time, Jessica went into labor as soon as
I was taken to my room.
She was in labor for about three hours.
Her baby needed oxygen right away.
Then the doctors said he had brain damage.
She went crazy, screaming at everyone. First
she blamed the doctors. “It’s your fault he’s
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retarded! I’m going to sue you!”
But she was the one who wanted to give birth
naturally, against the advice of all the doctors.
and nurses.
Her mother–in–law backed her up.
Said natural birth was cheaper, easier, and
made smarter babies.
She might have been right under other
circumstances.
But Jessica’s baby was too big.
The doctors wanted her to have a C–section,
but her mother–in–law wouldn’t sign the
papers. Her husband was out of town.
Who was to blame?
I tried to comfort her, but she said I was
showing off.
“You wanted me to have a retarded baby!
You had a C–section, but you didn’t tell me
to! You’re the worst person in the world!”
I couldn’t believe she blamed me.
Then she killed my baby.
This time, I wouldn’t let it happen.
But something went wrong.
When I got back to my room, Mark was
already there with the baby.
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Jessica was touching his face.
“He’s so cute! He looks like Mark!”
My heart stopped as she reached for him.
“I thought you were having a girl,” Jessica
said. “I could have sworn your baby bump
looked like a girl.
“I know you wanted a girl. You weren’t lying,
were you?”
I wanted a girl, but I loved my baby either
way.
I felt like she was hinting at something. I
needed to get her out of the room.
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“Aren’t you about to have a baby? Shouldn’t
you be getting ready?”
I had moved hospitals. She should know I
didn’t want to be close to her.
Why couldn’t she get it?
Jessica took her hand off the baby and
rubbed her stomach.
“Why did you switch hospitals? I heard you
were here when I talked to my college friend. I
was about to get a shot to speed things up.
We were supposed to have our babies.
together.”
