Linda didn’t push.
The competition was everything.
く
On the night of the finals, I wore a dress.
Mark sat in the crowd.
Luke didn’t.
When the host called my name, the room
went quiet.
Then, they clapped.
I walked on stage and held my prize.
I thanked my coworkers and Mom.
I didn’t thank Mark.
Mark said, “Luke was hurt.”
منط لمحطططط
Will you go see him?”
Г
“River stabbed him. Will you go see him?”
“Is he dead?”
“No.”
“I’m not a doctor.”
Mark looked sad.
- 23.
I flew home.
On the anniversary, Mark waited in the lobby,
wanting to take me to Mom’s grave.
The car stopped.
I got out with Mark.
<
He held a bunch of things, trying to make up
for before.
Mom was still smiling.
It was all for her.
Mark watched.
I cried.
Mark asked, “Will you ever forgive us?”
I said, “I can.”
“Don’t bother me again.”
I would never go back.
<
The scars remained.
I couldn’t hate them.
I wanted to forget.
Mark got quiet. “I’ll tell Luke.”
“I’m moving out, and won’t bother you.”
“Okay.”
“Will you come back?”
“I don’t know. Right now, no.”
My life was here.
The next morning, I checked out.
く
Luke sat in the lobby.
He was in a wheelchair.
He had bandages.
River did it.
It wouldn’t kill him.
“Rainey.”
He looked skinny and tired.
I didn’t stop.
Luke came closer.
“I need to talk. After this, I’ll be gone.”
く
I nodded. “Go ahead.”
“Mark and I talked.”
Luke swallowed. “Are you never going to give
me a chance?”
“No.”
Luke looked at me, then nodded.
“Okay. I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
“Before we go, can I hug you?”
“No.”
“Good–bye, Luke. I hope we never see each
other.”
く
- 24.
I started working again.
I won the award.
My salary went up.
Mark moved out.
A year later, a guy moved in.
He was young.
His name was Gu Ping–Sheng.
He was funny and handsome.
We worked together.
We fit
<
We often met up.
He said he liked me.
I didn’t respond.
Gu didn’t give up.
He was respectful, and I liked being with him.
I wasn’t ready to date.
Two years went by.
During Chinese New Year, Mark told me
River’s mom died.
River was in jail.
The wind blew.
Mark talked a lot.
He didn’t talk about Luke.
I heard Luke was in the hospital.
He was drinking a lot.
It didn’t matter.
After River’s mom, Mark asked, “Are you
coming home for New Year’s?”
“No. I’m good here.”
Two months ago, I got another award.
L.A. didn’t matter.
く
I was working to get things done.
The sun was out.
Gu was standing there.
The sun turned his hair gold.
He looked handsome.
My heart skipped.
I waved.
He walked over.
Dating sounded good.
